Bob vs Aliens
by Zeus on the Loose
Summary: This is a Bob the Builder FanFiction- I know it sounds weird, but watch out! This story includes mind-control and aliens. Bob the Builder is not the nice can-do guy you remember from your preschool years.
1. Chapter 1

**Here starts the story. WARNING: if you actually like Bob the Builder do not, I repeat, DO NOT read this FanFiction. You will be sad if you do. **

It was a pleasant day in Sunflower Valley. The Can-do Crew was happily cementing a road to Farmer Bill's house.

"Okay, Roley! Time to roll!" Bob called out.

"Righto, Bob!" Roley sang. He rolled quickly over the wet cement.

"Not too fast!" Bob screamed, but it was too late. Roley was already covered with cement.

"Oh no!" moaned Bob. "It's the end of the world! Farmer Bill's gonna kill me!"

"Gee, I'm sorry Bob. I wasn't thinking." Suddenly the day didn't look so bright to Roley.

"You know what! You're NEVER thinking! You're fired!" Roley sniffled and rolled off, humming a sad song. Every-machine stood gaping at Bob.

"Now how are we going to roll the cement?" Bob roared. "Roley! Get back here!" but he was already out of earshot. Bob slumped down, planting his butt right in the wet cement.

"It's okay, Bob," Scoop said tentatively.

"No it's not!" Bob exploded.

"Um… I think we should go home now…" Muck intoned. So the trucks drove home leaving Bob alone, stuck in the cement crying his eyes out.

Ahh…, another wonderful day in Bobland…

The next morning when Bob had cried out all of the water in his body, which happens to be 60% of him or more, I'm not sure of the percent of water in claymation, he tried to get up. Mistake numero uno. Riiiiipp! The backside of his pants tore clean off.

"Ohhh…" he moaned, "those were my Sunday overalls!"

"It looks like yur Sunday overalls are now part of my _very_ bumpy road!" Bob would know that southern hillbilly accent anywhere. Just to make the moment worse, Farmer Bill walked up. Bob blushed a deep red and put his hands on his butt, trying to cover his exposed tidy whiteys.

Meanwhile back at Bob's workshop…

"Roley still isn't back," Muck said looking out of the window.

"Of course he isn't back, you dolt! Bob fired him!" Packer snapped.

"Bob wouldn't fire Roley!" said Gripper who was a little… slow.

"Yeah!" Gripper's brother, Grabber, agreed.

"You were there when it happened," Muck told them miserably.

"What?" asked Travis. He was getting old and his hearing was going.

"BOB FIRED ROLEY!" Muck yelled in Travis' ear. With that, Muck zoomed out.

"No! Bob wouldn't fire Roley! He hasn't fired any-machine since 1458 when I was just a little motor! I don't believe it!" Travis bellowed.

"Wait… how old _is_ Bob?" Dizzy asked.

"He's 763 next August," Flex was proud of his knowledge of Bob's life. In our world, we call that kind of person (or truck) a stalker, but in Bobland, there's no such thing. Let's say it together… on 3… 1…2…3… Flex is a stalker!

"Wow! That's old!" exclaimed Dizzy,

"Say what?" Travis couldn't hear, but everyone ignored him.

**Me: Sorry! It's sort of short, and it will get more exciting! I hope you enjoyed it! Bob sort of needs a counselor or a therapist or something.**

**Bob: Me? It's you who needs a therapist! You're the writer!**

**Me: You may have a point there…**


	2. The Tour

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the first chapter and most of the rest of the story. I also don't own Xenon. *pout***

**Claimer: I own the short purple man!**

**Me: Hello! It's me again.**

**Bob: And me!*indignantly***

**Me:*sighs* And Bob. Well, I hope you like this chapter.**

**Bob: I hope so too!**

**Me: Shut up.**

"Say what?" Travis couldn't hear, but everyone ignored him. All of the machines (except Travis) zoomed outside where gray clouds were gathering. "Where did everyone go?" Travis asked the empty space. "Oh well," he said and decided to take a nap.

Meanwhile outside…

"Hey! Where's Bob?" Packer asked.

"Yeah!" said Grabber, which is pretty much all he's capable of saying.

"I don't know…" Muck trailed off. Everyone looked where he was looking. Bob was coming up the hill! With his hands on his butt?

"What's he doing?" Dizzy asked.

"Is his fanny hurt?" Scoop wondered.

"Yeah!" Grabber put in.

"Hey, I just thought of something… What time is it?" Splasher asked. Packer looked at his wrist – I mean _wheel_ – watch.

"It's 10:30ish."

"Yikes! I have a tour at 10:30!" he sounded panicky. "Gotta roll!" he said and drove away. Dizzy burst into tears, remembering Roley.

Just then Bob came up. Uh oh!

Meanwhile with Splasher…

"Oh no! Oh no oh no! ...Gonna fire me too!" Splasher mumbled to himself. (Hey! Why are all of Bob's machines guys? That's sexist! Splasher is now a girl.) Splasher mumbled to _herself_.

He – I mean SHE – drove as fast as she could go: 15 mph. She made record time to Bobland Bay. It only took 20 minutes! When she arrived she was greeted by a short purple man.

"I'm so sorry that I kept you waiting! Bob hurt his fanny and Roley got fired…" the words tumbled from Splasher's mouth.

"Oh no problem, no problem!" the little purple man said with an accent unlike any Splasher had heard before. She stared at the little man. Why was he purple? She'd never seen a purple-person before – but Bob had refused to pay for her to go on the world trip in high school, so maybe there was a whole _country_ of purple-people. Maybe all people outside of Bobland had only one eye…

"The tour starts here. This is Bobland Bay," Splasher began her speech after the little purple man climbed onto her and into the seat. It had been on for about half an hour when very suddenly Arnold (the little purple man) started talking in a weird, hypnotic voice.

"I come from the planet Xenon. My master, Richard III, is now your master. He has control over your brain. Go to your friends and control them as well."

"Yes, Arnold," Splasher said in a weird robotic voice. Arnold climbed off of her back and she drove away. Arnold pulled out a little walky-talky thing and spoke into it in a low voice.

"I have completed the mission, my lord."

A voice came from the other end. "I will send down your ship."

"Thank you my lord," Arnold said with gratitude.

**Bob: How come I don't get to say anything?**

**Me: 'Cause I say so.**

**Bob: Hmmmf. *turns away***

**Arnold: *maniacal laughter***

**Me: *groans* Why are you here, Arnold?**

**Arnold: Huuuh?**

**Me: Not very bright, are we?**

**R&R?**


End file.
